The film is about some aliens that make a creature that can only see humans when we are afraid, they can smell the pheromones that we secrete when a big scary monster is about to kill us. Really.
Pretend that the monsters are the doctors at your local maternity unit. When you arrive at the hospital in labour, if you are secreting adrenalin due to anxiety then they can smell your pheromones and will pounce.
- They will force you onto a bed so that your uterus is working against gravity and the contractions become stronger and so become painful.
- Once you are in pain they will offer you an epidural to ease the pain they have just caused. A needle will be stuck into you to introduce a drip in case the epidural drops your blood pressure and your baby is put at risk. Another needle is stuck into your back to introduce the catheter for the epidural drugs.
- Your urge to push may be compromised by the epidural so the monster, sorry doctor, will have to slice a section of your perineum with a pair of scissors to allow access to your baby via forceps or kiwi extraction. The baby is then pulled from you which may cause bruising of his head leading to an increased risk of jaundice.
The only way to avoid the above is to GHOST. That is to control your adrenalin output so that you do not secrete any of the tell tale pheromones that give away your fear. Easy peasy.
The only way to do this is to learn relaxation techniques outlined in this blog or available on the Kindle in the form of Pain Free Labour books. A relaxed person does not secrete adrenalin. Sorted.
After Earth only got 11% on Rotten Tomatoes, obviously they were not watching it from my slightly mad perspective.
Will Smith will always get a big intact tomato from me, he simply just gets better with age. Mmmmm.
His next film is going to be set on a maternity labour ward run by zombies and called After Birth.
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